Chapter One: When Caixin reported that ICOs are suspected of illegal fundraising on Sept 2

“WTF! Impossible! It must be these damn editors want a bargain hunt!”

“Exactly! Who the hell is this close-to regulator guy? Care to give a name? I don’t buy a word of it unless the PBOC releases a notice.”

Two days later

The PBOC issued a notice on the risks of virtual currencies! And it is co-released by seven departments! Seven!”

“I guess next time the Public Security Department would be included and the notice would be “it’s illegal for individuals to hold bitcoin.”

Chapter two: When Caixin reported that cryptocurrency exchanges will be shut down in China on Sept 8

“WTF! What is the matter with Caixin? It says that all exchanges will be shut down in China.”

“Nonsense! These editors will be arrested for spreading fake news.”

“I don’t know. China Securities Journal said the same thing. The journal is a subsidiary of Xinhua News Agency.”

“I still can’t believe this. No one can shut down the big three. It’s the big three!”

Five days later

“Looks like all exchanges will be closed. Shanghai Securities News confirmed with sources close to regulatory authorities.”

“Even the big three?”

“I guess so. Some TV channels aired that all exchanges and platforms will be closed in China.”

“Now what? Should I cash out from exchanges?”

“I don’t know. The news didn’t say when.”

When BTCChina announced that they will stop all trading on September 30th

“What! BTCChina? The oldest exchanges in China? There must be something wrong.”

“The only thing wrong about them is that they listed ICOcoin.”

“What about OKCoin and Huobi? Why they haven’t announced anything?”

“I guess they are working on the announcement now. Anyway, Caixin says all exchanges and platforms must release a notice by the end of Sept 15.”

“Okay. Guess we all know who is the final boss now.”

“That’s weird. OK and Huobi revised their announcement. They said that they would only suspend CNY services last night, but today they say they will close all businesses by the end of October 31.”

“Maybe they will survive.”

”You are cute.”

“What do you mean?”

“Firstly of all, they didn’t list any ICO tokens; secondly, the two platforms involve a great deal of capital and users. And now you need video verification to cash out, so that they know where each transaction goes. And they have to make a file about all these users and data relevant. It takes time.”

“Hmmmm”

Chapter three: When a two-page file about blocking all mining pools is widely spread on the Internet

“Can anyone confirm this shit?”

“Definitely fake! It doesn’t even have a stamp on it.”

“And it has a wrong word on it! Definitely not official.”

“What if it’s true?”

“Don’t even make me start on it.”

“Oh my, they will shut down mining farms!”

“You think so?”

“Why not! They banned cheese!”

“Good point. But China is a world leader in bitcoin mining. Maybe they will not close miners for a while.”

“Charlie Lee twitted that his source told him no moves will be taken to ban bitcoin mining.”

“Who is the source? His brother, Bobby Lee?”

“Don’t know, but I think Charlie has a point here. It’s a good thing if bitcoin is dechina-ed.”

“Hope so, price will tell.”

Chapter four: When WeChat group moderator becomes responsible for all comments in the group

“ @all The group is now supervised. Please be careful with your words. Don’t talk about bitcoin or any policies in the group. I don’t want to be arrested for what you say here.”

“ @moderator, give us a hongbao (red envelope), and we will be good.”

After everyone gets a hongbao

“Long live the Party! Always follow the Party!”

“Enough is enough, let’s go create a new group on telegram.”

“I can’t access Telegram. My VPN doesn’t work!”

“Long live the Party! Follow the Party!”